Those Blasted Superfriends: Superfriends Rest in Peace

I might seem mean-spirited with these rants against Superfriends, but I laugh because I love. These old cartoons provided me with many hours of entertainment as a kid, although I suppose that’s arguably proof that television rots your brain.

This time around, I’m graduating to the more “mature” version of the show, Challenge of the Superfriends. Specifically, the episode I’m looking at is called “Superfriends Rest in Peace,” which actually proves quite dark for the era and results in the on-screen “deaths” of multiple superheroes.

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Crowning Deaths of Awesome Sadness

Comic book deaths are a punchline these days. Despite the fact that a comic book death currently translates into little more than a cheap sales gimmick, there have still been some really good ones over the years. Even if they didn’t stick, they were chilling, touching, or otherwise hugely influential. What follows is my totally biased opinion of the best deaths comics has had to offer.

Before I get into the actual deaths, it’s worth noting what I’m not counting. Death by origin story, such as Bruce Wayne’s parents or Uncle Ben, does not count here. A poignant death has to take a character the reader has known for a while and send them off in a way that has lasting emotional impact.

With one exception, I’ve also left off deaths not from the Marvel or DC Universes. That’s partly personal preference, since I read comics from the big two the most. The other part of it is that the Marvel and DC stable of characters are cultural icons recognizable almost worldwide. As such, when one of those iconic characters dies, it has an impact not only on the comic book universe but on society as a whole. The one exception to this rule comes from an ending scene in Y: The Last Man. If you haven’t read through this excellent comic yet, go read those graphic novels instead of this list. The list contains a major spoiler that will totally ruin the emotional impact of Y: The Last Man if you haven’t read it.

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Thou Shalt not Kill

One of the oldest traditions in superhero comics is that the good guys don’t kill. There are exceptions out there, such as Wolverine, who sometimes the secret death squad X-Force or the Punisher, whose body count is somewhere in the thousands. But in general, superheroes haven’t killed since the Silver Age or even before. But the question is, why? Certainly some villains (*cough*Joker*cough*) deserve their necks snapped. Why is it that these guys who dress up in pajamas and pursue vigilante justice don’t do what sometimes needs to be done?

In an attempt to answer that question, or at least look at how the code against killing developed, here’s a look at some of the more iconic superheroes and why they don’t kill.

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Crowning Moments of Awesome: Wonder Woman

How did I become a Wonder Woman fan? It boils down to the fact that she’s my wife Sarah’s favorite comic book character. Sarah’s not a huge comic nut like I am, but in my attempts to get her more interested in my hobby, I chased down back issues of Wonder Woman. And what I learned is that she is awesome, through and through.

One hard part about listing the most awesome Wonder Woman moments is that I first have to figure out what interpretation of Wonder Woman I’m going with. Unlike Superman and Batman, she’s not automatically a huge seller, despite her iconic status. DC Comics has constantly tried to reinvent her, struggling with the fact that she is the prototypical feminist character in an industry that is dominated by adolescent males who, unfortunately, are not always the most progressive folks when it comes to seeing women as something other than sex objects. She’s been a warrior woman, a pacifist, a female version of Superman, a true goddess, and a waitress as a taco joint – often simultaneously.

For this list, I’m going with what I think makes Diana of Themyscira stand out as unique among superheroes: her focus on the positive aspects of femininity. William Moulton Marston created her as a response to the fact that his society saw femininity as weakness, and that not even women wanted to be womanly. Even in comics today, the feminine aspects of superheroines, except for sexuality, are often downplayed. Yes, they can kick ass alongside the men, but when they are shown to be at their best, their masculine traits are emphasized over their feminine ones. Wonder Woman, by comparison, is at her best when the traits usually downplayed in superhero comics are emphasized. She is tender, compassionate, and peaceful. When she does fly into battle and start kicking ass, she does so with grace and never uses more force than is necessary to win the day. Unlike other superheroes, she doesn’t have a code against killing, but will only do so to protect others. Essentially, Wonder Woman is a mother or a sister, with the entire world as her family. That means that she is very tender and merciful to those she loves, but is a terrifying opponent to those who would harm those she loves – which, in her case, is everybody. So this list is focusing not only on Wonder Woman the ass-kicker, but on the moments where she combines that badassery with the compassion and sense of truth that makes her a paragon even among other paragons.

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The Absolute Worst Movies that I Happen to Like

Previously, I did a rant about the best movies that nobody likes. My argument with those movies is that they are honestly good…not “so bad they’re good,” but in fact well-crafted pieces of cinema. For comparison and contrast purposes, here’s the flip side: a list of movies that I know are just plain bad, but which I enjoy anyway. These are the kind of movies that I watch because they’re so cheesy. In my mind, they define the phrase “so bad it’s good.”

I will argue to Hell and back that the movies on the previous list are well made. You might not find them to your taste, but they do what they set out to do and are entertaining for what they are. These films, on the other hand, falter somewhere along the way. They cannot be considered well-made. But, even in their glorious badness, they still entertain.

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Crowning Moments of Fatherhood

Superhero comics are filled with daddy issues. Be it parents who have died as part of a character’s origin story, abusive stepfathers, or children who are somehow their own father, a lot of superhero comics place focus on the importance of father figures. Here’s my list of the most awesome and heartwarming father-child moments in superhero comics.

All of these moments, of course, get the asterisk next to them that good parenting in comic-land is vastly different than good parenting in the real world. For example, Batman serves as a father figure to Robin, but in real life he’d be considered a monster for putting a child in harm’s way every night. So, placing on our reality-altering filters that allow spandex-clad vigilantes to be considered responsible figures, let’s dive into the list.

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The Failures of the Flash, and Why the DC Extended Universe Flopped

The Flash is the latest in a line of movies set in the DC Universe to flop critically, disappoint financially, or both. Despite trying to repeat the success of Spider-Man: No Way Home by giving fans a return of some of their favorite actors, in this case Michael Keaton as Batman, the film has greatly disappointed at the box office, spending a full month to reach the $250 million mark, all but guaranteeing that the film will lose a massive amount of money when all is said and done. It’s symptomatic of broader failures across the DC Cinematic Universe, which tried to replicate what Marvel accomplished with its films but has failed at almost every turn.

There are lots of reasons that these movies didn’t succeed, but I’m going to focus on what I think many critics ignore when they dissect these cinematic misses: the DC movies never took the time to earn the fan buy-in that they think they deserve.

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The Definitive Superman vs Luthor Encounter

In my opinion, All-Star Superman is the best Superman story ever told. Not only does it capture the heart of the character, but it embraces all the crazy stuff from the Silver Age while somehow making it not suck. It’s a good example of how you can take even the silliest stuff from superhero comics and make them work by using them in a serious manner.

There are many great parts in this 12-issue series, but my favorite issue doesn’t show Superman in costume at all. It’s the one that deals specifically with Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. The final exchange between the two summarizes the entire Superman/Lex Luthor relationship to me.

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Superhero Evolutions: Superman

A physical marvel, a mental wonder, SUPERMAN is destined to reshape the destiny of a world!

It is very unlikely that even Superman’s creators Jerry Siegel and Joel Shuster expected those words from Action Comics #1 to come true. While not the first comic book hero with super powers, Superman is the character who defined what a superhero was. He had incredible powers, a flashy costume, a secret identity, and adventures that got weirder and weirder as time went on.

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