The Merits of Being a Moderately Competent Dad

Originally published May 10, 2013 on BabyCenter.com

As Mother’s Day approaches, I’m reminded that it’s good to be a moderately competent dad.

My wife is a stay at home mom, so she does everything. To prevent her from completely melting down, I sometimes start the weekend with a grocery run or shopping expedition that’s just me and my son. I call it merrands. That’s short for “man errands.” I’m clever like that.

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Moms and Depression: Help is More Effective than you Think

Originally published on BabyCenter.com July 4, 2013

It’s only been about a month since I blogged about depression, but as with most mental illnesses it’s a topic that needs to be revisited frequently. In this case, Lisa Firestone recently provided a reminder in the Huffington Post that depression is a major problem that moms face. It’s a good reminder not only because there are many moms who know that they will have to deal with depression before and after pregnancy, but also because there are many expectant moms who don’t realize that they are already dealing with it.

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How my Family Helped me Write my Novel

Originally published on BabyCenter.com June 25, 2013

In case you haven’t read the tail end of my blog entries lately or haven’t noticed the high-pitched girlish scream of excitement that has been emanating from northern Vermont since April, my newest novel Greystone Valley is on sale. I’ve got a lot of reasons to be happy with this book, including the fact that it’s one of the most fun stories I’ve ever written, I get to work with a new publisher, it’s a thing of beauty thanks to cover artist Jessica von Braun, and actress Serena Scott Thomas is reading the audio version. But topping all of that is the fact that this book really represents a transition in my life toward being a husband and a father. It’s a novel that wouldn’t exist without everybody in my family.

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Over-Analyzing the Father-Daughter Relationship

Originally published June 16, 2013 on BabyCenter.com

It’s a girl!

My wife and I got our anatomy ultrasound for the upcoming newborn this week, and all signs point to her being a little girl. We announced it today to her family through the clever use of cupcakes filled with pink frosting.

Once I decided that I wanted children, I knew that I wanted both a son and a daughter at some point. The relationships that a dad has with both is too special for me to want to pass up.

My son, at least up to this point, is a little mini-me. I see a lot of my own strengths and, unfortunately, a lot of my own weaknesses, in him. I am going to do my best to push him along life’s path and hopefully give him the opportunity to be better than me in every way possible. A boy is somebody I can roughhouse with, burp in front of, and try vainly to explain that it’s not polite to stick your hands down your pants in public.

A girl is…what, exactly?

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Talking with Your Kids about Depression

Originally published June 7, 2013 on BabyCenter.com

Sara McGinnis posted a very good blog entry about Paris Jackson’s recent suicide attempt and about the dangers of depression in general. The blog got me thinking about something that seems obvious to me but that I had never really considered before: someday, I’m going to have to talk to my children about suicide and depression.

I myself suffer from clinical depression and have survived two suicide attempts. One of the first things I can tell anybody about this subject is that if you want to be really bad at something, suicide is the best thing to be bad at. The fact that I have depression means that my children are more likely to have that condition as well. Even if they don’t, they will likely know somebody who suffers from depression or a similarly serious issue. So when the time comes, what are the important things to tell kids about depression?

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Teachings from my Father: Usual Lessons Taught in an Unusual Way

Originally published on BabyCenter.com Marsh 16, 2023

It’s a tough world, and you need somebody to prepare you for it.

As I grew up, my mom took the role of the protector, building up my confidence and sheltering me from the bad things in the world. My dad chose a different role. He decided that he was going to be the guy to toughen me up.

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Parenting: Should Dads be in the Delivery Room?

Originally published on BabyCenter.com March 27, 2013

If you look at popular media from a generation or two ago, you see men who are largely removed from the birthing process. There are images of expectant fathers pacing in the waiting room or, in times long past, chain smoking at the hospital. Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising to us, then, that there are a number of fathers-to-be that don’t plan to be in the delivery room during their child’s birth.

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Facts About Lead Poisoning and What You Can Do About It

Originally published on BabyCenter.com March 22, 2013

The worst day of my parenting life came about a year ago when my wife and I found out that our son had lead poisoning. All I could think of at the time was, “We just screwed up our son’s life.” Fortunately, that wasn’t true.

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