Over-Analyzing the Father-Daughter Relationship

Originally published June 16, 2013 on BabyCenter.com

It’s a girl!

My wife and I got our anatomy ultrasound for the upcoming newborn this week, and all signs point to her being a little girl. We announced it today to her family through the clever use of cupcakes filled with pink frosting.

Once I decided that I wanted children, I knew that I wanted both a son and a daughter at some point. The relationships that a dad has with both is too special for me to want to pass up.

My son, at least up to this point, is a little mini-me. I see a lot of my own strengths and, unfortunately, a lot of my own weaknesses, in him. I am going to do my best to push him along life’s path and hopefully give him the opportunity to be better than me in every way possible. A boy is somebody I can roughhouse with, burp in front of, and try vainly to explain that it’s not polite to stick your hands down your pants in public.

A girl is…what, exactly?

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Greystone Valley: Beast-Men

“Beast-men? What are those?”

“They were one of the first people to live in the valley, and they’re very ill-tempered. They’ve got the body of a man, but the head and hooves of an animal.”

“That doesn’t seem too bad.”

“Maybe not to you, but you’ve probably never met a goat with a bad attitude who could talk and swing a club.”

Sarah pursed her lips and tried to imagine such a creature. Her parents had taken her to her uncle’s farm in the country once as a vacation. The cows were heavy and smelly, so she avoided them. The horses, though, got her attention. She particularly liked one black mare…until it bit her on the shoulder. She still had a small red mark from the teeth. “Okay,” she said. “I can see how those could be a problem.”

If any creatures can claim to be natives of Greystone Valley, it would be the beast-men. Though not as old as the dragons or the fey, the beast-men eagerly answered the Wizard’s call while other creatures lingered in their old worlds. Perhaps it was a desire to escape their reputation as evil monsters in their homelands, or perhaps they saw it as a chance to conquer a new world. Whatever the reason, the beast-men are one of the older races of the valley, although they rarely get the recognition they feel they deserve. Some of the best-known facts about beast-men are presented below.

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Talking with Your Kids about Depression

Originally published June 7, 2013 on BabyCenter.com

Sara McGinnis posted a very good blog entry about Paris Jackson’s recent suicide attempt and about the dangers of depression in general. The blog got me thinking about something that seems obvious to me but that I had never really considered before: someday, I’m going to have to talk to my children about suicide and depression.

I myself suffer from clinical depression and have survived two suicide attempts. One of the first things I can tell anybody about this subject is that if you want to be really bad at something, suicide is the best thing to be bad at. The fact that I have depression means that my children are more likely to have that condition as well. Even if they don’t, they will likely know somebody who suffers from depression or a similarly serious issue. So when the time comes, what are the important things to tell kids about depression?

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Greystone Valley: Pan

At first, Sarah assumed the creature next to Keeley was one of the beast-men. He had hairy legs and hooves, but his head was human – save for a small pair of goat horns that protruded from his forehead. He wore a crown of leaves, colored with the many bright colors of autumn foliage. When he saw Sarah looking at him, he got out of his throne of brambles and called for the other creatures in the forest to be quiet.

A jaded trickster, Pan is recognizable to most people even if they don’t come from Greystone Valley. As far back as the days of ancient Greece, tales have been told about the goat-legged man who lures men and women alike into the forest for feasting and celebration. Some of the legends paint him as more dangerous than that, but at his core Pan is a person who lives for the thrill of a celebration – or at least he used to.

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Comics & Quests: Lawyers!

Dungeons & Dragons has an inherent amount of silliness to it, derived its roots as a casual hobby filled with puns and friendly banter. You can absolutely do epic quests with it, but the game often works just as well if it tells smaller, sillier stories. This story is one of the latter, as Onyx the Invincible and Khelben Arunsun team up to deal with something that the city of Waterdeep has outlawed for years: lawyers.

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Greystone Valley: Keeley

“Um…excuse me,” said Kay, who had been silent for quite a while. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you really a dragon? From everything I’ve read, I expected a real dragon to be…well, quite large.”

Keeley hopped and turned around on Sarah’s shoulder. Her tiny claws dug into Sarah’s pajamas a little bit, but they were too small to really hurt – though they did itch slightly. “And who is this one?” asked the dragon as she peered at Kay. “He looks quite handsome, even if he does wear funny-looking robes.”

“This one’s name is Kay,” he said. “I’m a wizard. Or at least, I’m working on becoming one.”

“And he does have a point,” added Sarah. “You do seem rather, um, shorter than one would expect of a dragon.”

“Well that’s easy to explain,” said Keeley, bobbing her head from side to side. “Keeley’s only ten years old. She’s still a growing girl. Someday, she’ll be bigger even than Dax. She just needs to start eating more.”

“Even if she does get that big, that’s still pretty small for a dragon,” whispered Kay. “And for some reason, I don’t think it’s her diet that made her so small.”

If Keeley heard those comments, she gave them no heed. She had already hopped off of Sarah’s shoulder again. Now she flew in circles around Dax’s head. The old warrior was marching the group back toward the site where they had lost track of Kay’s book. He didn’t look like he wanted to talk all that much, but that hardly seemed to stop Keeley.

“Where are we going, Dax? What are we going to do? Will there be good food there? How have you been? Is your mother feeling well? Does Keeley look like she’s put on weight since last time?”

If there are any dragons smaller than Keeley in Greystone Valley, they are probably too tiny for most people to see. This mouse-sized dragon is only about six inches long from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail, but she has a big heart and a few surprises that will help Sarah through her journey back to her own world.

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Greystone Valley: Kay

“What about your staff? Is that magical, too?”

This time it was Kay’s turn to look confused. “A magical staff? Of course not. Who ever heard of a magical staff?”

“Then why are you in so worried about getting it back?”

They finished digging the hole. Kay dropped the book in and covered it up. Then he pushed the heavy rock back on top. “I just need it, is all. I wouldn’t be much of a wizard if I didn’t have a staff, would I? You might as well ask me to shave my beard.”

“But you don’t have a beard,” said Sarah.

Kay jumped back defensively. “Yes I do! It’s just taking time to grow in! See?” He stuck his head forward and pointed at his chin. Sarah squinted, and only found three short brown hairs on an otherwise naked chin.

“Um…yes,” she said. “It’s quite…lovely.”

“You bet,” said Kay, going back to his energetic self. “In another few months, it will be down past my neck. Then we’ll see who’s the proper wizard, eh?”

The wizard Kay is only thirteen years old but is potentially one of the most powerful people in Greystone Valley thanks to his spellbook, which contains all the world’s magical secrets. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to read it.

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Pros and Cons of Getting an NT Scan

Originally published May 1, 2013 on BabyCenter.com.

We’re now at week 13 of pregnancy number two, which means that we recently had to make the decision about whether or not we wanted an NT scan.

An NT scan, for those who are unaware, is a nuchal translucency screening, which can help predict chromosomal abnormalities in the child. The most common of these abnormalities is Down syndrome, which does not prevent a child from having a happy life. There are other rarer abnormalities that are potentially much worse, including some that can indicate your child will not survive through the first year. Thankfully, those situations are rare, and a positive result on an NT scan doesn’t mean that anything is definite.

This is not a procedure that is at all required. It’s purely up to expectant parents. We chose not to go through the testing for our first child because the NT scan wasn’t available to us. Back then (a whopping two years ago), all we had for an option was a chorionic villus sampling (CVS) test, which was a more invasive procedure that carries a slight risk to the baby. We opted not to go through with that because of the risk. In retrospect, it was also a good thing not to do the test at the time because I was a nervous wreck throughout the pregnancy and didn’t need one more thing to worry about had it come up positive.

Technology marches on, and thankfully the NT scan is now available to us. (I believe it was available only to those at high risk for chromosomal abnormalities before.) This time we chose to get the scan for a few reasons:

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