Our last story with the Realms Master crew put them through their paces. Vartan became possessed by a mad god, Agrivar’s successful fight against alcoholism was undone, Minder’s body got shattered, and the ship was smashed to pieces by an angry god.

But at least it can’t get much worse…right…?

King Agrivar

Maybe things aren’t so bad after all, as we start out with Agrivar a crowned king. His father looks on proudly, with Captain Omen and Elminster at his side.

(Also, bonus cameo of Luna/Selûne.)

Ishi is his betrothed, and Jasmine looks on forlorn from the gallery. But Agrivar’s beautiful bride-to-be does not have kind words to say about him.

Yes, as you may have guessed Agrivar was simply delirious and dreaming. He wakes up to find himself stuck in the desert with the rest of the crew, still drunk after Labelas brought back the demon of alcoholism that he had tried so hard to defeat.

Agrivar’s leg broke in the crash. Ishi implores Vartan to heal him with his magic, but the cleric is currently undergoing a crisis of faith after he found out what a rat bastard his god is.

As to the crew’s valiant captain, well…Omen is dealing with some major changes to his magic and has gone quite mad as a result.

Omen’s ramblings are the closest we get to meta commentary about the rule changes from 1st to 2nd edition AD&D. Specifically, his refrain about magic missile refers to the cap they put on this go-to 1st-level spell. As a 15th-level mage, Dwalimor used to be able to shoot eight missiles, but 2nd edition caps it at five.

Dwalimor’s mood improves when he hears Minder calling for help. Unfortunately, he’s the only one who hears her, leaving the rest of the crew thinking that their captain is talking to a severed head.

All told, things are quite bad for the Realms Master crew.

Making Amends

Unbeknownst to the crew, they are being watched. Someone takes an interest in Minder’s broken metal body…and in the fact that there are somehow living people in the middle of a hostile desert.

The salvagers review the broken crew, figuring that most of them will die in the desert soon enough. The only one they regard with interest is Ishi, as it seems to be her lot in life to be creeped on by people looking through scrying mirrors.

Tempers rise as night falls. Ishi suggests that someone go for help. Vartan volunteers, figuring that he is expendable without his spells. This prompts another fight between Ishi and Vartan, as the former is still upset that the latter refuses to call upon Labelas for aid. It gets bad enough that Ishi threatens to kill Vartan. The elf offers no resistance, but Ishi ultimately doesn’t go through with it.

After that dramatic scene, Vartan bares his soul and the two finally make their peace.

Naturally, something else has to come along and break that peaceful moment up…

The Inevitable Ambush

A jungle cat appears out of nowhere and attacks the group. Naturally such an out-of-place predator is actually a diversion so someone else can pepper our heroes with poison darts.

The hunters easily capture the group, using tactics that are remarkably similar to any one of a dozen “the PCs must be captured and stripped of their gear” starts to a bad adventure module. Then we get to see the faces…and just about everything else…of our antagonists.

These folks live in a desert, so the lack of clothing probably keeps them cool. On the other hand, they must get the worst sunburns.

Our next issue opens with another hallucination, this time from Vartan. The elf wakes up to find himself in a cell with Agrivar. Still unwilling to call upon his god, he thinks up another solution to save the paladin.

Unfortunately, cure disease doesn’t seem to remove alcoholism. The moment Agrivar comes to, he asks for a drink. At mention of Ishi, Agrivar says, “She can take care of herself.” Which is probably true. I just hope it doesn’t veer into something creepy…

Welcome to the Sisterhood

Ishi apparently has an opportunity to join the “sisterhood,” a collection of women who serve a master that killed their previous leader.

The membership drive hits a couple bumps, primarily because Ishi can slip out of bonds with ease. She gives her captors a little skirmish, but the fighting stops because Karge wants her to meet the women’s master first.

That master, Los, definitely doesn’t give me hope for where things are going…

Luckily, Los isn’t looking for a bride but rather a warrior. He recruits women exclusively because the men tend to get “distracted.” And he’s looking to add Ishi to the ranks, using her friends as a bargaining chip.

Ishi is not amenable to the terms. She fights, and Los reveals that he and his warriors can transform into lions.

This is a really good showing for Ishi. After spending previous stories as a piece of Agrivar’s love triangle, this time she’s out to single-handedly save the crew of the Realms Master.

Ishi to the Rescue

Ishi starts by grabbing a weapon from the foundry. Alas, the remaining metal that was Minder’s body gets melted down with other salvaged scrap.

She finds Foxy in the kitchen, where the recipe on the wall indicates that he’s about to get cooked into a meat pie.

Los finds her in the kitchen, but Ishi improvises a new fighting style: she uses the netted Foxy as a bludgeoning weapon.

Foxy creates a diversion that allows Ishi to knock out the cell guard. She frees Agrivar and Vartan, but Omen decides to let himself out.

Omen’s magic is still a little out of whack since the Time of Troubles. Right now it seems to be overtuned, which is lucky for our heroes.

Dwalimor seems to be back to his old self. Unfortunately, Agrivar is back to an older self, still struggling with the alcoholism that Labels brought back in full force.

Agrivar buys time for the others to escape through a ventilation shaft that runs through the ruins. Unfortunately, he’s not exactly in good fighting form right now.

Agrivar is left for dead, but Dwalimor prepares something special for those pursuing the crew through the ventilation shaft.

If I were Los at this point, I’d probably just open the front door and hope the prisoners flee rather than causing more damage. But he’s a bit more agitated, so he wants them dead…and he has quite the weapon to make that happen.

An Artificial Army

The first issue of this story gave us a fantasy sequence from Agrivar. The second issue gave us one for Vartan. And now the third issue opens with a fantasy sequence of sorts from a nameless dwarf.

That dwarf is, of course, Minder. She treks toward the afterlife only to be called back for one last battle. But how can she fight when her body was destroyed?

Meanwhile, Minder’s companions are trapped by Los and his feline forces. True to form, they have some disagreements on the proper course of action.

Outside, Los faces some discontent in the ranks.

Eager to destroy his quarry, Los turns to his quartermaster who shows him what the metal gathered through scavenging has gone toward.

Los turns the magical statues loose on his followers, allowing them to take their abilities and dispensing with that pesky free will stuff. One panther-woman catches Foxy but switches sides the moment she sees the carnage that Los has unleashed.

The woman brings Foxy to Agrivar, whose wounds have been bound.

And so Karse must guide a halfling and a drunkard to victory against an army of metal monsters.

Don’t Call it a Comeback

The animated statues smash through the barricade, but Dwalimor is convinced he can handle them…for about one second.

It seems the silver juggernauts are resistant to magic, making life that much more difficult for our beleaguered adventurers.

With their backs against the wall, the crew could really use a giant metallic juggernaut of their own…preferably one with the fighting spirit of a dwarven warrior.

Oh, wait…

Yes, Minder is back…and, as Ishi points out, she’s “anatomically correct.” With her help, the tide turns and the companions destroy Los’ army.

As for Los himself…

Karse slays Los and lets the adventurers go. The Realms Master crew departs, although their ship is still shattered and they are in many ways broken. The situation is not lost on Ishi.

On the one hand, the crew is definitely better, because they didn’t kidnap a bunch of people and plan to eat them. On the other hand, the companions have definitely been pushed to their limits by the Time of Troubles. Can they rebuild, or are they about the bet their worst selves in order to survive?

We’ll find out next time.

_{Images: DC Comics}